Showing posts with label breathing in and breathing out. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breathing in and breathing out. Show all posts

Thursday, April 16, 2009

the light illumines

The otherworldly luminosity of the late afternoon light here catapults past my ability to describe it. I gaze out and my heart skips several beats. This view is out in Rafford, a tiny hamlet past Forres, neither of which is exactly what you'd call a thriving metropolis. This manner of expansiveness would drive any greed-driven developer to spasms. As an urban escapee, I drink in nature's breath.

So much evolves and occurs on a given day that I find it difficult to write about. The "much" isn't my normal anxiety-addled doingness as much as allowing myself to be present with others and with my desire to show up for my life in real time. I could write 10 pages alone on my 1st returned walk through the Forres High Street. I don't. I haven't. Not just yet. The enormity of the past months sometimes seems to need its own unpeeled allowance, perhaps like a young seedling. I might also be simply incapable of writing in the midst of a busy living room. The signal doesn't reach to the end of the hall where I might sequester myself in solitude. It might be ADD, it might not. It might be hyper-vigilance, it might not. 

Finally I got the blood draw yesterday. Trying to connect medical procedures between California and rural northeast Scotland isn't the easiest. Trying to trust God while I take the most logical next step comes and goes in difficulty. 

I write one-liners in Facebook and then think about what I might share here. And the unfolding continues......