I think the etheric grinch vibrations of Christmas are easing. My nurse this morning said, "You have gifts you haven't opened yet?" And I responded with cheeriness and not defensiveness, "No, of course not! I wouldn't open them all at once like a 3-year-old! I'm having the 12 Days of Christmas and savoring each and every morsel from my blessed friends. There are even cards I get to open!" I can allow myself to be present with the love and not just roar through bits of paper while bemoaning my current incapacity for timely reciprocity.
I believe that I can offer a thanks that a shift has occurred from shuddering unworthiness to palpable delight. I have so many calls to make and Thank You Cards to write in the coming weeks! An ice chunk of fear has left. I feel welcomed to the beginning of a more relaxed sense of peace. There are some cooing doves not far away..... perhaps just for today, and that is fine by me. Tomorrow or later on I'll worry about all the Horrible Things. Today the sun is out, my coffee is strong and I can breathe in some peace. It is a moment I will cherish.
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3 comments:
Hi Diane,
I am thinking of you and wishing I could see you at 6 tonight!
Sending you my good wishes and prayers...
To "F" - that was a bit harsh.
Susan here, over at Lorri's with Cindy in tow. We have been talking up a storm about anything and everything. There is no internet at my parents house, so I'm out of everybody's loop and my husband is in serious 'email withdrawal'.
Christmas day, just as I was starting to make my Christmas phone calls, I got a phone call. My dog, the lovely Glenna had bolted during a thunderstorm and was nowhere to be found. Suddenly, I knew my Christmas calls would not be cheery so I kept them to myself. Glenna finally came home covered in burrs and twigs and I was OK once more. So I'm so sorry for allowing my own petty problems to get in the way of wishing you an uplifting and spiritual Christmas. I send you my love, my prayers and my admiration.
Love, Susan
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