I don't think this one bites

For you balanced souls out there, never ever tormented by the irrationalities of life.... for you "normies" and Type B folk upon whom many a skitterish Type A obsessive-compulsive nervous person might lean.... you can skip this part. It'll probably be boring. You probably aren't even twisted enough to be intrigued now that I've written that. 

Since I stumbled out of 25 days of Induction chemotherapy in late November, the pile of bills which awaited me had me in a full-scale panic. I was stuck, deer-in-headlights terrified, heart-palpitating whacked. Of course my insurance policy was in force. Of course those mean and disreputable sorts should have known that I was being kept behind metaphoric bars in the hospital. Regardless, I had a visceral and irrational avoidant reaction to the bills. In the past two months, I managed to re-arrange the pile and even start some file folders. All I could think was, "Some of these are wrong and I don't have the psychic energy to make them right. And I'll be damned if I'll let those bastards mis-bill me!" I'd already sic'd my Claims Rep. on one lab for trying to bully me out of $190.00 when Blue Shield had paid that in full in May of last year. I was 5 years old and some big mean kids were heading down the street right at me.

This may be considered an interesting (or perhaps pathetic) distraction from matters of life and death. 

Today something shifted. The bills were just pieces of paper with information on them, all entitled to some measure of response that would simply not suck too much out of my life force energy. In fact, I managed to access a spiritual plateau not before encountered. The twisted solar plexus had eased, the mental machinations had seemingly evaporated. 

I looked at the papers and with a calm detachment thought, "YOU can kiss my ass." 

Damn but that felt good! I do have a minor wad of papers ready for a break in the phone tag with my Claims rep., all under the auspices of '...and WHO do you think you're kidding?' 

One monster down.